I lie to my kids. Daily. Total honesty here, folks. Please tell me I’m not the only one.
Trying to get my preschooler to stop talking and go to sleep: “I’m just going to go check on your brother. I’ll be right back.” I don’t go back. She falls asleep patiently waiting for me to return and continue snuggling.
Convincing my toddler to finish his supper: “Only one more bite!” I use this line to get him to eat a lot more than one more bite. It is helpful that he can’t count well.
Responding to my kindergartener’s request to watch TV: “Maybe. I’ll think about it.” I don’t think about it. I have no intention of thinking about it. I’m banking on him getting distracted by something else and forgetting his request.
Before I had kids, I was like any other pre-child person: I knew everything about parenting and raising kids, and I was happy to bless frazzled parents with quality parenting advice. I shook my head at moms with screaming kids in the grocery store. I looked down my nose at parents with unruly children in church. I did a mental “tsk tsk” at dads feeding French fries to their toddlers for supper. Every questionable parenting choice I saw went on my list of “Things I Will Never Do When I’m A Parent.”
Then, I became a parent. I tried really hard to abide by my list. And I did a pretty good job…for a few weeks…or was it days? But I quickly realized that, for the sake of my sanity, I simply had to let some things go. With baby #2, even more “priorities” were dropped. By baby #3, I have become a totally different parent than I was with my firstborn. Sometimes, I fear I have lowered my standards. Mostly, I tell myself they haven’t been lowered; they’ve simply been changed. Not less, just different. And I’m okay with “different.”
During a recent conversation with a dear, longtime friend (who was pre-children at the time), I confessed that I lie to my kids on a regular basis. She was mortified. “Oh!” she exclaimed in an all-too-familiar knowing voice, “I will NEVER lie to my children!” I smiled. Just wait…
As a parent, you must decide who will provide health care for your child as he or she continues to grow. It’s a big decision, and choosing between all the types of providers, such as family practice doctors, nurse practitioners and pediatricians, can be confusing.
Pediatrics is the medical specialty fully focused on the physical, emotional and social health of children, from birth through adolescence (approximately 21-years-old).
The primary focus of pediatrics is on preventive health care, providing general services, such as routine physicals and check-ups, vaccines and immunizations and treatment for minor illnesses and injuries. But, pediatricians are interested in more than just physical well-being. Pediatricians collaborate with families on early prevention, detection and management of other childhood issues, including:
Education & Training
- Anxiety disorders or depression
- Behavioral challenges
- Developmental difficulties
- Social stresses
Pediatricians complete four years of medical school, followed by three years of pediatric residency. To become board-certiﬁed, pediatricians must pass a written examination given by the American Board of Pediatrics. Pediatricians must recertify by taking examinations every seven years. In addition, pediatricians must also take a certain number of continuing medical education courses each year to be eligible for license renewal in the state where they practice.
Des Moines Pediatricians
Whether your child needs a primary care provider or a pediatric specialist, Blank Children’s Hospital provides care you can trust. Blank Children’s pediatric clinic in downtown Des Moines provides a full range of medical services, including well-baby checks and well-child exams, sports physicals, illnesses, immunizations and other medical needs for children. From the day your child’s born to the day you send him or her off to college, and all the days in between, we’ll be here.
Rooney is almost 2, and a lot of people who have babies younger than Rooney (or who I was pregnant with at the same time) are announcing their second (or third) pregnancies all over my Facebook feed. It's exciting for them (of course!), but at the same time makes me wonder if we're not as cut out for this parenting thing since we're not in that mindset yet. We're still overwhelmed with one kid lots of times! Even my little brother is going to have two kids before I will (I had no chance with my sister, who had twins the first round)!
In addition, people are starting to ask me (in person and via blog comments) when we're "gonna have another one." We don't feel quite ready to try for Baby No. 2, but I think, just as we could have never been fully ready to have our first kid, that we will also never be fully ready to have our second.
Don't get me wrong. There are times when I think we can handle it. Times when I crave it, even. Wanting to be pregnant again and go through the wonder of it all and share the news and find out what sex it is and have people ask me how I'm feeling and pick out a name and try breastfeeding again (uffda) and have people go gaga over how cute my child is.
So we're just kind of stuck here in the middle. Trying to focus on Rooney and the joy she brings us while also making a smart decision on when to add to our family.
Thoughts on When to Have a Second Child
- When the first one is potty-trained. We haven't even started the process with Rooney...so don't hold your breath!
- When we have more money. I don't often think like this, but Eric does. He's so practical. We'd want to load up our flexible spending account with at least $4,000 for hospital bills again (making my take-home income lower), PLUS save that same amount to cover my income during leave. Yikes! I do have different insurance now, however, so maybe it would be cheaper on my current plan? (I'm also planning to get Aflac supplemental insurance again for short-term disability and hospital confinement.)
- When Rooney can help. Rooney has an incredible love for babies. It's adorable. I think she'd like to have a real-life baby doll -- I'm just hoping she feels the same way when we actually bring another baby into our home. She gets a little jealous now when she sees me holding another baby.
- When Rooney's day care rates go down. This will happen when she's 2 and again when she's 3.
- When we have a bigger house. We are currently in the process of finishing our basement, which will nearly double our living space. In addition to a separate playroom, we'll also gain a guest bedroom downstairs so our third bedroom upstairs can be converted into a nursery.
- Whenever you feel like it! I think I'm a little more ready to have another than Eric (I totally thought I was ready when she was 3 months old...ha!), but we're both sort of terrified of it, too.
Other questions I'm trying to answer are: Do we want our kids to have birthdays in the same month or should we try for a completely different time of year? I liked being pregnant during the cooler months, but Eric's birthday is three days after Rooney's, and it's kind of a crazy week/month for us. If I lived in China and could only have one child, would I be upset about that, or relieved? Should we just be a family of three? If we do have another, will our next pregnancy be our last?
Ideally, we think we'd like our kids to be three or three and a half years apart. But, we know from the first time that it's not something we can control. Just trying to relax and have faith that God's got it all figured out (because he totally does).
How did you decide when to have another child?
As my due date gets closer and closer, my husband and I have tried everything to prepare ourselves for our little girl’s arrival. We have washed her clothes, set up every baby gadget we own, packed our bags, and wrote a birth plan. With all of that done, my favorite part was finally putting the finishing touches in her nursery. I have sat in her room multiple nights just rocking in the rocking chair, reading to my belly, and humming a special tune. It is by far my favorite place in the house! A lot of planning went into her nursery, so I thought I would share a few things to help you plan yours.
Envision your nursery: What do you want your nursery to be like? Do you want to have a theme? Do you want it to be a certain color? Do you want to incorporate a certain design? I had a lot of fun on Pinterest coming up with different ideas and decided to go with a color palate of purples and greys.
Research the best deals: Once you get an idea of what you want in your nursery, go online and research where you can get the items you need and who has the best deals. I had a lot of luck reading through Baby Bargains by Alan and Denise Fields as to what was the best brand of crib and dresser to buy. I then went out and looked at these different brands and decided on one that best fit our budget.
Set a budget: I think this was key for my husband and me. We are very fortunate to have parents who are very supportive and helped us purchase some of the big ticket items in our nursery. However, there were a lot of things that we still needed so we had to be smart. For instance, the closet in the nursery did not have very much storage so I wanted to put in a closet organizer. I went online and created one that was immaculate. So much so that all I had to do was click the purchase button and it would be sent to my home precut and ready for installation. I was so close at clicking my mouse and then I saw the ticket price. Hello reality! So instead, my husband built me a closet organizer that is much better than the one online and we spent a third of the price!
Shop: Once you have done your research and are set on what you need for your nursery, make a list and go out and shop! Remember, a lot of the bigger items are not in stores and will need to be ordered, so make sure you include enough time for the items to be shipped before your baby comes! I think we had to wait around 10 weeks for our crib and dresser to arrive. Don’t forget that some of the items you may be able to register for as well!
Here is what we had on our list for the nursery:
- Crib and Bedding (we already had a crib mattress from my aunt and uncle)
- Dresser (we registered for a changing pad to put on top of dresser)
- Glider Rocker
- Video Monitor (we registered for this but no one purchased it)
- Closet Organizer
- Shelves (we purchased a shelf from IKEA and then my husband made shelves for some of her books)
- Diaper Caddy
- Dresser drawer organizers
- Art work/Décor
These are just a few things we had on our list that we wanted to purchase. Your list may be completely different! We also registered for a lot of other things to help limit the items we needed to purchase. Her nursery was definitely a lot to plan but we are so happy with how it turned out!
Maybe you’re expecting your first child and trying to find the right person to care for your baby. Or maybe you’ve just moved to Des Moines and need to find a new pediatrician for your kids. Regardless of why you’re searching for a provider for your little ones, choosing a pediatrician is a decision that requires serious thought.
Your Checklist to Finding a Pediatrician in Des Moines
Sorting through all the pediatric clinics and pediatricians in Des Moines is overwhelming, to say the least. The following are some tips to help you search for the right pediatrician for your family:
- Insurance – If you’re in a managed health care plan, your choice of participating pediatricians who provide primary care for children may be limited, so be sure to check the plan’s online list.
- Office – Let’s face it, kids don’t always get sick when it’s most convenient. Knowing when your child can receive care, such as on weekends and after hours, is huge. Equally important is the office location.
- Hospital Affiliation – Unfortunately, at some point, your child may require more care than your pediatrician’s clinic can provide. Should your child need to go to the emergency room or be hospitalized, it’s important to be comfortable with the hospital to which you are referred.
- Personality – Another important aspect of selecting a pediatrician is getting a feel for his or her personality. Good communication between a pediatrician and a parent is essential to building a good working relationship. Not to mention, your children should respond well to the pediatrician whom you choose, too.
Caring for Kids
Affiliated with Blank Children’s Hospital, our family-friendly pediatric clinic provides the best possible health care for children. Our team of Des Moines pediatricians wants your kids to get well and stay well. To learn more about the clinic or to schedule an appointment, call 515-241-8923.