FACT: This Morning a Nutri-Grain Bar was Smashed into my Work Pants
Posted: October 20, 2013
Before you have a baby, you hear rumors about all the extra laundry you will do, diaper explosions and an occasional marker incident. I think it is fair to say that throughout my five years of parenting I’ve experienced a lot of things that was not in any book I read. Some things I have blocked out and here are a few I will share.
- Have you ever been bitten by a child? It hurts! And here is the thing, it is so unexpected. They crawl up to your leg and it could be a hug, could be a kiss or it could be a bite! To this day when a kid is hugging my leg I have this little fear that I might get bit.
- Have you ever seen a full bowl of rice poured over your dog. This has happened on a number of occasions – not always rice.
- The injury list could go on and on- just last week I had three facial injuries, one from each kid. My worst child inflicted injury was a corneal abrasion. Not once, but twice. The first was pretty bad and I missed two days of work. Keep those nails clipped!
- The bathroom visits! I swear there isn’t an outhouse we’ve passed without using, I would say 75 percent of the time, about three minutes after we are in the car – somebody has to go.
- There will be moments when all the kids are crying at once – and sometimes you are crying too!
- Locate all shoes before a nights end. Have you ever tried to find a missing flip flop in the morning when you are already running late – could be anywhere, inside or out!
- Boys: they do collide on a number of occasions!
- The spills, the spills, the spills! I’ve opened our pantry door to a floor covered with an entire box of lucky charms poured all over the floor.
- You can buy white shirts, just don’t expect them to be white the next time you put them on. You would think this would improve as they get older, but lately I find the back of the shirt is as dirty as the front.
- Just because you are in a hurry to get out the door – they aren’t! At this point – I try to focus less on being late and enjoying my little ones and try to keep them moving through the steps of getting them dressed, fed and out the door.
- At some point you will be very comfortable busting out the Wheels on the Bus- anywhere: Target, a grocery store, a restaurant. You are the peacemaker for all!
- Kids nap, right? Though I hear stories about kids who take these fabulous 3 hour naps, we have had very few last longer than two hours. And when the boys were around three, we finally gave up on naps at home. We were to the point where we were spending over an hour to get them asleep and they would be awake again and ready to go in 30 minutes. Not worth it!
- Getting dressed! One would think this would be a quick three minutes in a morning routine. Friends, I’m sorry to share- your child may never want to wear what you pick out and some days they just don’t want to change at all. You may find yourself, chasing, begging and pleading on a daily basis.
- Some days you are your child’s best friend, other days you might hear a, “I hate you mom.” I imagine this will only escalate as my children get old.
- Once you have a young child, it is now time to start listening to the sales pitch on the furniture warranties.
- Your child will generally repeat everything you say or happens at home – IN SOME FORMAT. At one point our daycare teachers asked if our house was in a tornado.
- Avoid moon dough – it’s worse than glitter.
- Don’t lose any sippy cups with whole milk and sometimes when you reunite, it’s best to just make peace with it and throw it away.
It’s all worth it though, right! And if your child comes running at you with super sticky hands and a messy face for a big hug – you will just open your arms up and love the moment. Sometimes they might even surprise you with something nice. Share some of your stories you didn’t anticipate.